Lost

I am not your daughter and that we both know,
But you knew me from a baby and you watched me grow,
You were there to hug me when I needed you there,
Now I feel you will have a daughter and no longer care,
No more trips to the salon and no more days in town,
You have your own daughter to chauffeur around,
I’m not your blood I know that I do,
But I’ve always felt like a daughter to you,
When I’ve needed you most you’ve always been there,
When needed someone to hold be and tell me they cared,
But now that’s going to change cause you have your flesh and blood,
And everyone knows blood is thicker than mud,
Ohana means family no ones left behind,
But I’m not your family just a girl down the hall that you used to mind,
And I’m scared you will forget me and no love me anymore,
Because trust me I know loving me can be a chore,
You always seemed like the one who wouldn’t go away,
And now I’m debating whether you’re going to stay,
I don’t think you understand what you mean to me,
And I know that I’ve hurt you because I’ve been hurting me,
Because I’ve been selfish but I’m sick don’t you see,
I pushed you away so I could deal with my head and the demons in me,
But I pushed you to hard and you’re not coming back,
You don’t want me anymore you have erased the tracks,
You said it yourself you won’t treat us the same and that makes me so sad,
And I’m lying here in tears and it’s driving me mad,
Knowing everything we did you’re going to do with your kid,
But it’s going to be different cause there yours but everything that we did,
It made me so happy and it’s never been the same,
and it never will be and I am the blame,
I did all of this and hate myself every day,
For pushing my hero and my dad away,
But if I let you close again and I see you with the twin,
Then I’ll burst into tears and hurt from within,
I always saw you as my mum and I loved you so much,
And I know it’s my fault I haven’t been in touch,
But just think 15 years from now you can do it all again,
And I’ll be sat watching with more tears than the rain,
Cause all of the things that we used to do,
You’re going to do with them me and you will be threw,
I can’t believe how much I’ve cried over loosing you,
But I am to blame and this is true,
I guess it’s my punishment to sit back and watch you with the twin,
Sit back and watch what could of been.