Social Awkwardness

It’s tough to explain this situation
To all those that are around with me
It’s like a blockade, an inhibition
I want to say hi, but I can’t set the words free
When I meet so many souls all at once
I can’t help but to break out in cold sweat
No matter how many prompts, or how many times
I will shudder, and I will fret.
Deep down inside I want to be friends
But the butterflies in me can’t stop partying
I worry if I say anything bad, then all things will end
Like an abrupt halt in a middle of a masterpiece.
I admire all those who shine with confidence
Their charisma is like the refreshing midsummer breeze.
They convey with clarity, they speak and they empower
Their smiles are radiant, and they handle things with ease
As compared to scaling Mt. Everest, socializing is tougher
Faces unseen, voices unheard and stories undiscovered.
I feel queasy, like I’m about to take the test of my life
That determines if I get slaughtered or I get to survive.
I hold out my hand, the other doesn’t shake it
I pull it back, and I die of embarrassment inside.
My cheeks feel like they’ve been smeared with red-hot lava
My whole face ripped apart, someone rubbing salt to the scar.
That searing, sizzling and excruciating pain and torture
To reach to the girl beside, and simply smile at her
And say ‘Hi, let’s be friends’
Such chicken-feet tasks appear to be all that daunting
This very madness, why can’t I have some openness?
It zeroes in, tackles me down and I drown
From my inner Social Awkwardness